last post - Talk About Marriage

I know how you feel, im in a similar situation...wife is divorcing me, denied there was anyone else..but i found out there is....and i have since met some one else...i knew her already, we worked together for 3 years, were just friends, after my separation we started seeing each other...

She is sooo much better for me than my stbx and she was a great support in the aftermath, even trying to help me get back with my wife for the sake of the kids...but its been hard to forget about my wife, even though i ended up taking her to court to get access to kids, she has lied about everything and tried to take everything...it still hurt though when i found out to think that she was apparently happy with someone else after all of our years together (i found out this week)..i dont think i love her anymore ..its more the disappointment of being treated this way by someone i loved and trusted, and being the one left wondering why it all happened..it has helped me detach by the way she has behaved, and we dont see each other or talk but i am still dreading seeing her with another man...anyway, i know how you feel..confused and not sure if the new woman in your life is the right one, and why the thought of your ex with another man should bother you if you have now found the right person.....i think its only natural to feel this way after you were married to someone, theres still some feelings however much we want to think they have gone (and probably for her to)..i decided to go with the flow and see how it worked out..i figured it should improve over time if it was meant to be, and it has..i still have days when i question where i am now..no longer living with my kids, they living with their mother and likely soon another man, me in a rented house, our house that we worked towards all those years sold, the money all frittered away, most of my personal belongings gone, the heartache and the humiliation she put me through..how did it all happen and why...but these are less now and more and more i am so thankful to have my new partner and i look forward to building a new life with her and the kids..

I dont think mine is a rebound relationship, although it started when i was still mourning the death of my marriage and really not ready for another relationship..my advice would be to try and see beyond your marriage and give it some time if you think she may be right for you..what helps me is to think 'would i have been interested in a relationship with my new partner if i had met her instead of my wife all of those years ago'

good luck with your decision

Source: http://talkaboutmarriage.com/going-through-divorce-separation/53461-ummm-just-some-advice-words.html

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